Beauty entrepreneur Phoina Tosha has shared her personal reflections on marriage, describing it as a life choice that should not be viewed as a badge of honour. Her remarks came during an interview with Alex Mwakideu on Thursday, November 20, 2025, where she spoke openly about why many modern unions collapse and why societal pressure often pushes people into relationships they are not emotionally ready for.
Phoina explained that marriage is not compulsory and should never be approached as a milestone that everyone must reach. She stated, “Marriage is not a badge of honour; marriage is not an achievement.” To her, emotional readiness is essential, and many people walk into marriages without preparing themselves for the responsibilities that come with being a partner. She added that “Ndoa si lazima na si ya kila mtu alafu pia, you have to be that person emotionally, and you have to be ready. Unaona ndoa za siku hizi zinavunjika ni because unapata anaolewa na kumbe they were not ready to be a wife or a husband.”
Why Do Many People Rush Into Marriage Today?
Phoina believes that external influence drives many people into unions they are unprepared for. She highlighted that getting married because friends are doing it or because of societal pressure often leads to unhappy outcomes. She shared, “You just want to be married because my friends are getting married, but are you to be a wife, are you ready to be a husband, until you are ready. If you are doing it for society or because of what people will say, you are doing an injustice to yourself and to the person you are getting married to.”
Despite her views, she clarified that she is not against marriage itself. She simply believes it should happen naturally when an individual is confident and emotionally grounded. She expressed this clearly, saying “Ndoa itakuja ile siku itakuja na kama haikuji pia tunaendelea na maisha.” She added that she trusts marriage will come her way at the right moment, noting, “I know it will happen for me; I can feel it but when I am ready emotionally to give myself like that, I have to be ready and sure.”
Phoina also revealed that she has never faced pressure from her family regarding marriage, something she appreciates as an only child. She shared, “I am the only child in my family na hakuna pahali nimeandikiwa. You, Phoina, you need to get married, lakini nikiolewa. I will be happy for myself, but right now I am married to my business.”
What Has Shaped Phoina’s Perspective On Marriage?
Part of her outlook comes from personal experience. In her early twenties, she spent seven years living with a partner, a period she considers similar to marriage. She recounted, “I have lived with someone for seven years when I was in my early 20s, one person, I would say it was like a marriage, but it did not work, I lost everything, I left with nothing.” She added that “Ilikuwa kama ndoa, I grew as a person, it was good for me. I was grounded, but I lost everything.”
As for her current love life, Phoina confirmed that she is dating but dismissed public speculation linking her to businessman Khalif Kairo. She simply stated, “I’m dating but not Khalif, and let’s respect the person I’m dating.”
By Risper Akinyi
