Radio presenter Alex Mwakideu sparked widespread conversation after questioning why some married men turn to enhancement pills during extra-marital affairs. Speaking on his Friday show on December 12, 2025, he highlighted what he sees as a growing pattern among men who choose to “perform better” only when they are away from home. His remarks pointed to a deeper issue around pressure, validation and misplaced priorities within relationships.
Mwakideu wondered why some men feel the need to elevate their performance with partners outside their marriages while neglecting the same effort at home. He said, “Ukiwa nyumbani, hauna haja ya tembe, ukienda away unataka ushinde ile away match,” a comment that captured the contradiction he sees in this behaviour. He continued to question the mindset behind it, asking, “Mbona unataka kutamba away? By the way, mbona hutaki kutamba home?” His words reflected the disconnect between the motivations that drive extra-marital performance and the lack of similar enthusiasm within marriages.
Why do some men feel pressured to impress outside partners?
Mwakideu raised concerns about the pressure some men place on themselves when engaging in affairs. He questioned why a competitive mentality emerges only in these situations and who is responsible for creating that competition. “Nani amewaweka kwa mashindano? Who are you competing against?” he asked. His questions encouraged men to examine whether they are acting out of insecurity, the desire for external validation or the fear of disappointing someone outside their marriage more than their partner at home.
He suggested that instead of trying to outdo themselves in secret relationships, men should reflect on their motivations. “Pita sekunde yako moja yenye Mungu amekupatia,” he said, urging them to slow down, think clearly and understand the consequences of their choices. His comments were not meant to shame anyone but to highlight the emotional and social pressures that influence some men’s decisions.
How does this conversation fit into Kenya’s broader discussions on relationships?
Mwakideu’s remarks come at a time when topics about sexual health, infidelity and relationship expectations continue to gain national attention. His perspective adds to ongoing discussions about personal responsibility and the importance of investing energy in one’s home rather than seeking approval elsewhere. Many Kenyans have echoed that relationships thrive when effort is focused inward rather than outward.
His commentary has encouraged men to reconsider where they direct their energy and how their decisions affect their partners, families and emotional well-being. The debate continues online, with many appreciating his willingness to address a sensitive topic that touches on honesty, commitment and the need for healthier communication within marriages.
By Risper Akinyi
