Marriage is not an achievement, according to Dennis Itumbi, and he believes it should never be treated as a compulsory milestone. The Head of Presidential Special Projects and the Creative Economy shared his perspective during an interview with SPM Buzz, where he explained why he remains single and why he questions the traditional expectations surrounding marriage.
Itumbi said he is still evaluating his feelings about marriage and whether it holds the same value for him as it does for society. He explained that he has been reflecting on the purpose of marriage and whether it is necessary for everyone. “I am still thinking about the institution of marriage. I have my issues about the institution of marriage that I try to convince myself of,” he said.
He went on to explain that he views only a few things as truly mandatory in life. “I am at a level where I am deciding whether marriage is necessary for you to live because I know there are three things that are compulsory to a human being, to be born, to pay taxes and to be buried; the other things are optional.”
Why Does Dennis Itumbi Question the Purpose of Marriage?
He added that marriage does not fall under life’s compulsory stages and insisted that people should not treat it as a universal requirement. “I do not treat marriage as a compulsory passage of life; the answer to Dennis Itumbi’s wife is non-existence,” he said.
Itumbi shared that he has been in relationships before, but remains unsure about committing to marriage as an institution. He emphasized that staying unmarried does not make life any less fulfilling. “I do not think this marriage thing is such an issue. In my view, it is an institution that culturally we were brought up in, that at some point after you get a job, you need to get married. I am opposed to it; I do not think it is a compulsory rite of life. I think it is there to make people happy,” he stated.
He added that most of the reasons people cite for getting married can still be fulfilled in other ways. “I have had some personal relations; I am only not sure about the institution and whether or not I should go in that direction. If the issue of marriage is children, I can get without marriage; if the issue is companionship, you can get companionship without marriage. I do not see one compelling reason why marriage is compulsory. Marriage is a good thing, but sio lazima. Marriage is not an achievement of life.”
Even so, Itumbi left room for the possibility of marriage one day, saying the future is in God’s hands. “In the future, we leave it to God; they say a good wife is a gift from God, and he who gets a good wife obtains favour from the Lord. God is still packaging my gift; my hands are open, when the gift comes, I will unwrap it,” he said.
How Does Society’s Pressure Shape His Decision?
Itumbi spoke openly about the pressure he receives from family, friends and even villagers who want to see him settle down. He shared a moment that highlighted this societal expectation. “Women from my village, I hosted them here, and after we talked about development and other things, one lady stood and said, ‘All those things are good, but sasa tunataka kuzaliwa so unaleeta huyu mrembo lini?’”
His response to them was simple and witty. “In response, I told them, there is one thing that is assured: all of us will get married, and it is going to be in heaven.”
He added that his family pushed him for years but eventually accepted his stance. “Familia waliweka pressure wakawacha, I think they accept what I am saying is going to be the case. The pressure is everywhere, not only from my parents but even from friends,” he concluded.
By Modester Nasimiyu