The discussion began when content creator Chebet Ronoh used a TikTok video posted on Wednesday, November 19, 2025, to highlight how many people judge situations they barely understand. She compared victims of abuse to individuals battling addiction, explaining that both groups often remain tied to harmful situations despite knowing the consequences. Her point focused on how quickly people are to question why a victim does not leave, yet they also fail to quit habits they openly admit are damaging.
Ronoh explained the comparison clearly. She said, “You see how you couldn’t stop smoking cigarettes even if you knew it was bad? How you drink every weekend knowing that you will lose yourself… that is how the victim couldn’t walk away from the abuser, imagine.” By drawing this parallel, she pushed her audience to rethink how easily they judge victims without acknowledging their own struggles.
She added that many people continue with damaging habits fully aware of the risks, and that same pattern applies to victims who stay in toxic environments. Ronoh continued, “Notice how you know these things are bad for you, but you choose them? And that is why you guys will forever be hypocrites.” Her message focused on the idea that people speak loudly about the flaws of others while ignoring the chaos in their own lives.
Her criticism sharpened when she described how people project judgment while refusing to confront their own issues. She stated, “Just throwing stones, and your backyard imejaa graveyard.” The statement underscored her frustration with the tendency to judge others from a place of moral superiority.
Why does Ronoh believe people ignore their own struggles?
According to Ronoh, many individuals simply cannot see past themselves. She said, “I have come to the acceptance that a lot of you people can’t see the outside of yourselves. Like your world is just you…you.” She explained that people repeat the same harmful habits they claim to want to quit, which mirrors the cycle of addiction and reflects why some victims remain in damaging relationships.
She expanded the comparison by saying, “You see how you had an addiction you couldn’t let go of, it is the same way the victim is addicted to something wrong for her. Who would have thought?” Her message emphasized that walking away is not always as straightforward as outsiders assume.
Ronoh urged people to stop acting as though they would automatically make wiser choices if they were in the same situation. She argued that before questioning why a woman remains with her abuser, individuals should consider their own unresolved issues. In her words, “So before you say huyu msichana yuko na shida mbona hatoki, mbona wewe hujawacha kulala na watu hujui?”
By Risper Akinyi
